Somewhere between the White Cliffs of Ben Dover (They have no relation to the Porn Star of the same name), Funkytown & the Wonderful Wizard of Coz's home (The Muckrackerschloss) there is a canyon of great depth. Falling, Falling, Falling to the bottom is AJA, the poster that writes the stories of a Arnie J. Armbruster. But, he hasn't been doing that lately since he's got involved in his own adventure. As he falls, he thinks about Life, The Universe & everything that resides in the crazy old, mixed up world of ours. He wonders why the Wizard of Coz wants to meet with him. AJA also wonders why hot dogs come in packs of 12 when buns come in packs of 8. Then, wonders about the price of tea in China. He looks down or what he thinks is down & then wonders if this Canyon has a bottom.
An Answer to the last pondering came to him as quickly as a Man falls to the bottom of a canyon due to the force of Gravity exerted on that man's body. The bottom of the canyon was made up of long forgotten plot ideas & half finnished storylines from the Messageboard AJA frequents. AJA sits up & begins to read.
"Hmmm..." He Hmmmed to himself. "I would have read that." he said.
He began to read some more. He could see that at the bottom of this canyon, there was enough text to fill a library. A Large one one, like the U.S. Library of Congress. But, AJA's wonderment was short lived when a Hero Feeder came on the scene.
It snarled, nashed it's many teeth & barked a bit before speaking. "What.... are you... doing here?" It asked as if it learned english from William Shatner.
"I fell." AJA replied.
"You are... not... to be... here!"
"I know. Do you know away out of here?"
"No! Me... and my... fellow creatures...were sent to... this interdimentional vortex... for time and... all enterity!"
"ok. So, I'm stuck here. Is that it?"
"No. Sometimes... when... we touch... the honesty's... too much! And... I have to.... close my... eyes and hide! I wanna... hold you... till I die! Till we... both break... down and cry! I... wanna hold... you... until the fear... in me subsides!"
"What the Fark does that mean?"
"It... means.. my toga clad... muchacho, ... we are.. only bound... by the meta-text.. we believe in. So... if.. we.. all.. just got along! We... might... be able... to escape.. this vortex.. and live.. our lives... to the fullest!" The Shattastic Hero Feeder proclaimed.
"And how would one go about that?"
"First! And.. forth most, ... we must... get by.. the heckhounds.. of South L.A.!"
Then, after the the Hero Feeder said that the howl of the Southern Los Angeles Heckhounds could be heard.
"What do we do?"
"Do you... happen to.. have a steak, with you?"
"No. But, I got a coconut!" AJA said holding up the coconut he was making Poster's Log into (during last part of this story).
"It will.. have to do. Throw it.. young man, ... Throw it!"
AJA chucked the coconut in the general direction of the howling. All of AJA's poster logs of this journey would be lost but that doesn't matter right now: leaving the bottom of the canyon was!
Then, the Coconut exploded into a million little coconuts thus rendering the the Southern Los Anglees Heckhounds unable to kill them.
"Now what?"
"The.. explosion.. caused by... your Coconut! Ripped..a.. small hole.. in the.. space/time.. continuum!"
"So?"
"If.. we.. can.. open it..more! We.. may be.. able to escape.. like me and... Spock did.. in Episode 12!"
AJA stopped & then asked "Are you really William Shatner?"
"No. I just.. play him... on TV!" The Hero Feeder said & smiled a bit. AJA wasn't sure what he meant but decided to not question the monster further.
The Shattastic Hero Feeder 's claws slowly withdrew from his hands. "Now, watch this!" he said & began ripping the hole to shreds.
As he did so, the hole got larger & larger until it was large for a small puppy could safely pass through. The Hero Feeder stopped to catch it's breath. AJA peered throught the hole & apparantely they were ripping a hole into a Closet somewhere.
"Care.. to take.. a try?" The wheezing Shattastic Hero Feeder asked.
"No. Your doing fine."
The Hero Feeder got back up & began hacking at the tear some more. Sometime later, The tear was now big enough for them to walk through & they did so. The Closet was small & cramped with the two of them in it. AJA opened the door & exited the closet.
TO BE CONTINUED!
Where are they? Will they leave the Tear in the Space/Time Continuum open? Is Maurice, the fabled Winged Cabbage of legend dead? If not, can he be Saved? Will AJA ever get to Muckrackerschloss to meet the Wonderful Wizard of Coz? Most of these questions & maybe some more will be tried to be answered in the next installment of this series.
AJA out!
134.39.77.229 (134.39.77.229) IP Address
Apple Safari/MacOS X (0.01 points)
